Chapter 4: Wolves

Chapter 4: Wolves

BPOV

Food was practically shoved at me by Charlie and Alice. If I hadn't been on Edward's lap, he too would have been forcing nourishment upon me. For the first time in god knows how long, I was actually hungry when I saw the delicious spread before me: garlic mashed potatoes, mushroom ravioli, tortilla chips and guacamole, chocolate-frosted chocolate cupcakes, and sparkling grape juice—all of my favorites. What on earth could they have been celebrating in this loony bin? Yes, Edward was home but couldn't they wait until we both were to throw a little party? The red, green, and gold presents in the corner were completely unnecessary.

"Bella, I'm so glad you like my garlic mashed potatoes. Charlie told me I should make them for you, he was right: you do devour them!" Sue laughed, visibly less-upset with me now that I was eating again. She was the one that had always been hard on me when Charlie couldn't.

"They're so good!" I said with my mouth full of the goodness that was mashed-potatoes. I kept eating them readily while the room was filled with delighted non-distinct chatter. Everyone's moods had been lifted incredibly since last I saw them. It was most definitely because of Edward's return from Europe alive.

"So, other than Edward's return, what are we celebrating?" I asked in-between mouthfuls of mashed potatoes, my curiosity piquing. It was the only thing I could keep down because everything else was so rich and I hadn't eaten much recently, and Sue was right—they were my favorite.

"Christmas. You both missed it!" Alice chirped. What!

"What!" I replied skeptically. Wasn't Christmas ages ago? Why did it matter now that I had missed something so long ago?… How long had I been here at New Moon?

"Well, Edward was still in France, trying to get the doctor's approval for travel, and you were… here. We all tried to come see you at Christmas but you didn't even know what day it—," Alice was cut off, abruptly.

"Alice!" Esme hissed. "That is not the way to approach these fragile topics!" She berated. I became aware of everyone's eyes on me, their faces filled with pity. My gaze darted around like a kitten cornered. It became unbearably uncomfortable, so I hid my face in the crook of Edward's neck as his arms wrapped around me in protection.

"Maybe we should start with explanations after all," Edward suggested, always my hero. It felt as if we had never been apart because it was so easy for us to be together, and yet as though we had both been through war and back: separated for too long. The two conflicting feelings were hard to stomach together. Silently, I nodded into his neck, showing my agreement.

"I suppose I'll start," Carlisle said after a few moments' silence.

"Wait! Before you do, answer me this: when was Christmas?" I asked, removing my head from its hiding place.

"Two weeks ago," Carlisle stated.

"…how long have I been in here?" It suddenly occurred to me that my mind just might have been playing tricks on me after all.

"One month." When Carlisle said that, my stomach dropped. Had I been well-nourished, it might have been more noticeable that my face paled.

"Bella," Charlie called to me from his seat at the table, "I've been to see you every day, don't you remember?" His words pained me as they were full of such devotion and heartache.

"Not six months?" I whispered aloud, to no one in particular other than myself. Crazy people always talked to themselves, right? I was playing the part better than I knew. "You mean, dad… you didn't visit once or twice a week?" Charlie and Carlisle's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, as did everyone else's that I could see. It finally dawned on them just how utterly lost I had been since Edward's crash. Even now, with his gloriously strong and protective arms around me, I had become accustomed to expecting the worst. Before, I had never thought previously about what would happen if Edward and I couldn't be together; it just wasn't feasible. Now, that's all I could think about. What if he didn't want me anymore? What if I was too damaged for him now? What if he meets another woman and falls in love because I've become inadequate due to my craziness? My insides rolled and I had to fight the vomit that rose in my throat. It was hard to breathe—the air was too thick. I was trying to stave off my anxiety attack that I knew was coming by taking slow and calculated breaths but Carlisle's voice interrupted it—thank god… or, whoever. Thank Carlisle.

"It's understandable how it felt longer than that. It certainly has felt longer for the rest of us—the longest two months of our lives," he comforted. I didn't want to freak out, not now when I had been doing so well all afternoon since re-arriving to the visitor's lounge. Our eyes met and I nodded, hoping that Dr. Cullen understood that I meant to continue with the story. The longer it was drawn out the more agony each minute seemed to accumulate. It was intolerable.

"I'll start where you left off—after Alice and Jasper called the ambulance," when he said that I shuddered into Edward as I felt him palpably stiffen, "they called me. I knew that no matter what you could have taken, you would be in no condition to fly the next day—not to mention that the hospital wouldn't have released you until the mandatory 72-hour suicide hold was up, so I immediately changed the flight to my name instead of yours. I sat at the hospital with everyone for as long as I could before I had to go to the airport.

"While in the hospital's waiting room and the airport's terminal, I made many calls to the U.S. Embassy in Paris as well as to the Police force and several possible hospitals that Edward could have been transported to. It was all in vain, as I ended up flying to Paris to find my son with only blind hope. The first day, I physically went to the Embassy, the hospitals, and to their police headquarters but I got nothing. They all refused to talk to me. Despite having credentials, they thought I was some reporter, trying to get the scoop about the American student that no one else could. After a couple weeks of my persistence, and once Edward was lucid from his many surgeries, they finally let me see him having been convinced of who I was," he sighed, the exhaustion of it all clear in his voice. "I was just delighted that once they told me I could see him, it wasn't in the morgue."

"That was while you were in a coma, Bella," Carlisle clarified. I nodded and felt Edward's arms tense around me as if they could erase the past two months before his hand started to rub small comforting circles on my back. It was still hard for me to accept the fact that it had only been two months that I had been deprived of Edward while living in my own personal Hell on Earth. Edward kissed my forehead when Carlisle continued. "I phoned Esme right away and let her talk to Edward," he paused to kiss her hand that he was holding. "We all decided that it would be for the best not to tell you anything until you were well or at least in a better place to deal with everything. Edward had a few weeks of major physical therapy to get to where the doctors would allow him to fly half-way around the world, not to mention that he needed to be comfortable and able to fly without pain.

"While you were sedated, I had done a lot of conferring with Charlie and Esme over the phone and I told them about New Moon Psychiatric Facility. Edward was against the idea, but you needed help that no one but professionals could intensely in a safe environment give you. We had been hoping that you would have been helped by the time Edward was able to come home. He and I flew in yesterday and that, briefly, brings us up to the present," he finished. I thought there was going to be more to the story and it almost felt as though he was hiding something from me.

"Uhm, OK," I said while nodding. I turned to Edward, my beloved, and kissed his cheek. "So what happened to you? When do you get out of this wheelchair, baby?" I teased. Edward's face became a mask of pain and his blood ran cold with my, apparently, unfunny joke. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" I don't know what I had meant. My crazy was fucking with my mind again. I needed to remember myself… or find myself again. Everyone's eyes in the room immediately found something interesting on the floor and stared at it. Tension started to suffocate the already elephant-filled room.

"It's OK Bella. I—never. The doctors don't think I'll ever get out of this wheelchair. I might be paralyzed permanently," his voice cracked. My eyes flooded with fresh tears that didn't pause at the rim, but spilled like a flowing river. It didn't matter to me if Edward couldn't walk, as long as we had our love, I would be fine with almost any future. My only thought was selfish: how much of Edward was paralyzed.

"Is everything paralyzed from the waist down?" My voice cracked through the never-ending stream of tears. I had no shame anymore in crying, in fact I saw it as the sanest thing I did as of late.

"I don't know, Bella… it's not like I've been able to figure that out… you've been here," he whispered the last part. This conversation was getting extremely private and very fast. "If …it is, then we'll figure something else out, children-wise…" he informed me, his voice full of suffering.

"…I won't be able to have the hoards of little Edwards!" I screeched. My life, in the past two months, was spiraling painfully and irrevocably into Hell. I launched my body the few inches between us into his chest and clung there helplessly. "We need to talk in private," I sobbed, "now!"

"OK… uhh… you're room?" He stated in question form. I hopped off his lap, effectively showing him my reply.

"Excuse us, everyone," I called to the room filled with my other guests. Attempting to push his wheelchair, I made it only a few feet before exhaustion threatened to collapse my body. Alice was the first to react.

"Hop on, I'll drive ya!" She chirped. It was a sweet gesture, but it saddened me regardless. Edward couldn't walk and I couldn't even push him because I was so weak. Everything was falling apart. Gingerly, I sat on his lap again even though this time I knew he couldn't feel it. Alice wheeled us into my room and left after closing the door behind her. A saddened expression had overtaken her usually cheerful face.

"I'm glad to see they gave you a single-room. I would hate for you to be stuck in a room with an insane person," Edward said, making small-talk. I, however, was nothaving it.

"OK, let's try!" I said as I hopped off his lap. He stared at me like I had a horn growing from my head. "Edward, I'm serious. I want to see if your dick works. Now, help me get you into my bed. Or, if you prefer, I can ride you in your chair… oh that's kinky…" My crazy rant was compliments of the time I had been spending with my sex-crazed mental-institution friends.

"Bella, no. You're so frail; you can't even push a wheelchair without possibly passing out. Sex, is not a feasible idea right now."

"Is that it? I'm too thin for you now?"

"No! I always want you!"

"Just not right now…is it because I'm crazy? I'm… not!" I didn't sound so convinced of myself.

"You don't sound so sure… but no! We're not not-having sex right now because you think you're crazy. That's preposterous."

"What is it Edward? Do you… not love me anymore?" I sobbed.

"Don't be ridiculous. I love you … more than the air I breathe. I promised you I'd make it back to you and here I am. Every moment of grueling and painful physical therapy I only thought of you, speeding it up so I could see you sooner. Right now is not the time to make love for the first time since we've been apart…"

"How about a blowjob, that's not physically taxing on me."

"Bella…"

"Edward. I've been living in my own personal hell for two months thinking you're dead. I need to touch you, to feel you in my mouth. I need to see if we can still make pretty babies—our pretty babies. I want to make you feel good… you've been through hell and back yourself. Please Edward?" He contemplated it for a moment, his face showing warring emotions.

"Bella… I just, I feel as though I'm taking advantage of you in your condition."

"What condition? I'm in here because I thought you were dead. Clearly I can't survive without you."

"You… you know, you tried to… I can't say it. You didn't even confirm if I was dead," he whispered.

"CNN told me you were! I saw them cover you with a white, bloodied sheet! That spells dead to me! It's not like you dying makes a girl rational…"

"I know I'm sorry. It's just… well, although I never thought you were dead, I did have a nervous breakdown because the thought of you doing that… it does bad things to me, so the topic just makes me more than a little anxious."

"Well, let's prove how alive and well we are now by letting me give you a glorious blowjob. Edward, it's happening." I huffed. He regarded me for another moment, before rolling his eyes and nodding.

"Let's see if I can get it up…" He sounded embarrassed as he said that. As soon as he conceded, I walked over to the door and locked it. It would only keep non-staff people out, because if the staff wanted in they had keys. Sensuously, I turned around towards him with my back against the door. I licked my lips because I knew he liked it when I did that. Seeing what it did in his eyes, I hummed in satisfaction—a low guttural sound. Slowly, with calculated steps, I walked towards my fiancé. A slow-burning fire ignited in his eyes that hungrily burned brighter with every step I took. It was difficult to not avert my eyes at his crotch, looking to see if he arose to the occasion or not yet. Walking and licking my lips were the least of the tricks I had up my sleeves; I hadn't even touched him yet.

"Mmm, I have no doubts about the talents of your cock," I whispered, deeply. He let out a low growl, inevitably turned on. After dating him for five years, four of them being fully sexually intimate, I knew his tells. I was also pretty sure he had never heard me use the word cock, well wasn't I just full of surprises. Being stuck in a loony bin with ridiculously horny and near-sexual-deviants had a few perks: a girl learned how to dirty talk. This, of course, was the first time I even considered doing it after the whole Paris-mixup.

"Oh Bella," he exhaled, slow and deep, "you've got a newly-filthy mouth. I want to feel that…" he winked. I loved it when he did that: I could feel my girly parts tingle with excitement. If only he'd let me mount him—I swear he'd be oh-so-willing to have sex, my current frailty ignored.

"Oh you will, don't you worry baby. The one good thing about being a new card-carrying member of a big ol' bag of crazy, I've got many things in that bag: I'll make you feel so good, it's been so long since I've tasted you…" I licked my lips again and tugged at my bottom lip with my teeth. I was turning myself on; it was such a foreign feeling. Two months is an awfully long time to be devoid of a sex-drive. Closing the few feet's distance left between us, I was finally able to touch him again. My body reacted immediately: heart pounding, panties soaking, skin tingling—it was amazing. Time had not dimmed our physical connection we shared just as death had not.

My hands were placed on either cheek, as I brought my lips to his. It was slow and sweet at first, but quickly accelerated as our months upon months of need all stacked up and nearly exploded. Our hands were all over each other: feeling and touching, healing and loving each other with our touches. Finally, I couldn't take the suspense anymore—not having cheated and peeked at his crotch—I moved my hands and unbuttoned his jeans and agonizingly slowly—for us—pulled down the zipper. Because I hadn't used my eyes for confirmation of a hard-on, I wasn't quite sure yet. Before I could even get my hands on his boxers or look for an erection, Edward's voice startled me.

"Bella!" He called, eyes wide. At first I found the look confusing, but as usual for us, we could communicate with each other without words and I knew why he had called my name in surprise. I pulled down his boxers and out flopped the most gloriously erect penis ever. We shared an intimate smile for a few moments before either of us made a move or a sound.

"I knew you could get hard for me," I winked. "I love you," I threw in at the end. His face was alight with pride and almost all of the anxiety that had been there before had melted away in the wake of his boner. It was laughable that two engaged adults could get so excited over such a simple thing as an erection, but to us it meanteverything. It meant that our future was still intact. "Now let's make you come, baby!" I cheered. I felt a little like how Alice would be if… OK well my thoughts wouldn't let me go there, but I imagined that Alice would cheer like that. Edward chuckled from deep within his gut—a truly wonderful sound. I kissed his deliciously kissable lips as my hand traveled south found the most beautifully hard dick the earth had ever seen. Our lips parted and our tongues battled out our fiery passion. Breaking the kiss, my lips traveled south as well, kissing soft yet intense kisses across his jaw, down his neck, nipping at his collar bone and the length of his torso on the bare skin that I had revealed after unbuttoning his plaid, collared shirt. Being intimate with Edward set Earth spinning on its correct axis again. It was as though I knew that suddenly the world had righted itself: food had taste, the air held its sweetness, and the sun would rise in the morning.

Before fully taking Edward's member into my mouth, I licked around the head, teasing him. While I wasn't going to tantricly torture him, I did want to give him an intense orgasm. Tasting his precum that began leaking from the tip of his penis my juices started flowing in anticipation. I knew that Edward couldn't reciprocate—his current position embarrassing enough without figuring out the maneuvering of him trying to get me off—but it still made me hornier than hell to taste him. Looking up at him through my lashes while my mouth was wrapped around the head of his dick, it twitched when he and I made eye contact. This is going to be easy, I thought.

Concentrating at my task at hand, I began to suck on the tip while circling my tongue in languid circles around it, feeling him stiffen even more as moans of pleasure escaped from his lips. When I had my fill with teasing him, I took him into my mouth as far as I could while my tongue traced the underside of his penis with pointed pressure, adding more friction. Once his dick was sufficiently saturated with his precum and my saliva, I added one of my hands to the mix. Usually, I liked the challenge of getting him off with using only my mouth, but today didn't feel like one of those bang-me-against-the-wall type days, although every day really should be. In the same pumping motion, my hand matched the pace of my mouth that had started to speed up as I felt Edward getting closer to release. While I tongued his frenulum on the underside of the head, Edward slightly shuddered, showing how aroused he was.

"Oh Bella," he moaned in his lusty voice, "you have got a serious talent with that mouth—uhhh. I missed you so much." I kept my pace, and started to lightly grip and play with his balls as I knew he was about orgasm. "Shit—I'm going to cum!" He growled. I moaned with my mouth around his dick, adding a vibrating sensation around his dick just before he released hot spurts of himself into the back of my throat. I swallowed it graciously, thinking in the back of my mind how it would make me stronger with all of that protein in it. It took everything for my deranged brain not to laugh aloud alerting Edward to my crazy conjectures. I mean, honestly, who thinks about their fiancé's jizz making them stronger? Insane people: that's who. I licked my lips and thought about brushing my teeth—there was no need to go back to our family with semen-breath. Again with the bizarre thoughts!, I internally chastised myself. When Edward's lazy, lustily lidded eyes finally opened, ours connected again and my cheeks slightly flushed. No matter how often or much we had experienced sexually together, I always blushed. This time though, Edward didn't comment on my blush like he usually did. It must have been because my skin was so tinged with malnourishment that any sort of blush would have indicated me to be healthy—quite the opposite of the current reality.

"I can't wait until I can see you blush again," Edward said, calling me from my thoughts and confirming what I had been thinking. I had truly let myself go. For most women that meant getting fatter, becoming lazy, and not making an effort at all with their clothes and appearance. For me, it meant not eating, not dressing myself at all, and going bat-shit crazy.

"I did. You just can't see it…" He brought his hand to rest on my cheek after I said that.

"Hmm… your cheek is warm, Bella," he observed. "Perhaps we should get you back to the little party so you can eat some more."

"Why? I'm already full of you," I teased. The answering look on Edward's face was pricelessly hilarious: shocked, confused, aroused, and amused. He guffawed and gave me my favorite half-smile of his.

"Bella, since when are you a bit raunchy?" He asked in a low chuckle.

"If I wasn't so confused about time right now, I could tell you. I'm not sure when the exact moment occurred, though it was probably over the course of the past month in here. Victoria and Tanya have rubbed off on me…" My answer was extremely honest and perhaps one that he wasn't expecting. If I had been using my brain, I would have realized it had been a rhetorical question.

"Oh? Who are they?"

"Fellow in-mates, I mean: patients."

"Well, love, we do have a lot of catching up to do."

"Two-months' worth, or so I'm told."

.::.

My family gathering, that was later joined by Jasper, Rose, and Emmett, was finally coming to a close around, what I was told, seven pm—when visiting hours ended. It confused me that we had stayed there for the duration of the party, that they hadn't taken me home yet but I figured they wanted me to eat something and show signs of normalcy before we could leave.

"OK, well you guys can take me home now! Let's get me checked-OUT!" I teased to my remaining visitors: Charlie and Sue, Dr. Cullen with Esme, and Edward. Nurse Emily had just come in the room as I exclaimed my desire to leave.

"Well Bella, if you want to be discharged then you have to meet with Dr. Soigner so he can do the discharge interview and paperwork. You can only leave with a doctor's permission now, since you signed the admittance paperwork," she stated in a very professional way, unlike how she usually was with me.

"Why didn't we do this before?" I asked not only Emily, but my family as well. No one's eyes met mine, except for my Edward.

"You know how Alice is, she wanted to have a party here so she did just that," he said to me before turning to Emily who had been standing in the doorway. "Nurse Emily, might we go see Dr. Soigner now?" he charmingly asked. He was trying to dazzle her to get his way, something that he was very good at.

"Oh—of course Mr. Cullen. I'll just call him from the nurse's station. He's usually here until 7:30, so we're catching him right in-time for a meeting," she chattered before walking off briskly to make her phone call. I could tell she was attracted to him, but I didn't feel any jealousy. I was used to other women being attracted to my man; he was devastatingly beautiful so of course she would be attracted to him: everyone was.

.::.

Once in Dr. Laurent's office, I sat in one of the two chairs in front of his desk and Esme in the other while Edward was wheeled in-between us. Carlisle stood behind Esme, resting his hands on her shoulders while Charlie stood behind me as I held Edward's hand. Sue had said that she had a few things to take care of so she went to go do them elsewhere.

"So, where are these release papers? I would like to go home with my fiancé tonight," I stated, smiling. Dr. Laurent eyed me curiously. Admittedly, he had never seen me so lucid or so much life in my eyes. To him, previously had I been out of touch with reality: hallucinating and now he probably thought the death of Edward was a delusion of mine when in all actuality it was an oversight on the part of CNN. I could allow myself to get frustrated, but what I really wanted to do was to go home finally and sleep in the same bed with the man I had been missing for the past five months.

"Well, let's talk Isabella," Dr. Soigner suggested. Even through his French accent, I knew what his tone was saying. He was about to deny me exit. I was excellent at reading people. "Why should you suddenly be able to leave?" he asked, full-well knowing why.

"Seriously? Edward's alive. I'm never going to try to kill myself again."

"Until next time you think he's dead, or actually is," Dr. Laurent stated. His quizzical light-brown colored brow furrowed in accusation and I didn't know how to answer that.

"Uhm… no," I retorted less-forcefully than the first time. "Everything's fine now. I would like to go home with my family." Looking around to my surrounding family members, they all had pained expressions and… a hint of guilt? Edward's hand tightened around mine and I had the answer I was searching for. "… You're not going to let me leave, are you?" My father gripped my shoulders in apology before I even got confirmation on my random assumption.

"Very perceptive, Isabella; I can see that even in the past few hours you have recovered yourself quite a bit. But, no, I can't allow you to leave tonight."

"Why not? You said so yourself I've recovered."

"Not one-hundred percent, no, and perhaps only from this particular episode. Your psychosis still lingers and left untreated could be disastrous," he concluded. He so easily dismissed my leaving. It infuriated me.

"Oh, and other than attempted suicide, what could that be, huh? Why do you have such a problem with letting me leave? I'm not crazy; I shouldn't be here!" I yelled, I was losing my grip on my temper, but I couldn't condemn myself for it.

"Did you want me to tell you your diagnosis?" He coolly questioned. My little outburst hadn't even fazed him. Either he was treating me like I was just another crazy-patient, or he truly didn't care. Suddenly, instead of crystal-clear blue eyes, I saw cold, uncaring eyes. Instead of his naturally calm demeanor, I saw heartlessness.

"Yes. That's what I want," I stated just as coolly.

"As you wish," he replied, which reminded me of Wesley in The Princess Bride. He sort of looked like him too, plus a French accent and minus the Robin-Hood/pirate-type getup. I also liked Dr. Laurent a whole-lot less. He fiddled with a manila folder full of papers on his desk, opening it and found one of interest before taking it out and placing it on top of the rest. After regarding it for a moment or two, presumably re-reading his notes, he began to speak again. "Isabella Marie Swan, age 22, two attempted suicides by overdosing on prescription medications; the second resulting in an extensive three-week hospitalization, the first two of which were spent in a medically-induced coma. Isabella shows signs of severe fear of abandonment and separation anxiety. She also has acute delusions and hallucinations possibly pertaining to the extreme fear of abandonment. Unwillingness to accept help for her conditions and denies said conditions. Shows symptoms pertaining to Borderline Personality Disorder and Generalized Anxiety not otherwise specified. Isabella was institutionalized after the suicide attempts in the wake of the belief that her fiancé was killed in a crash. Attempted suicide a third time while in the institution by hoarding the pills she had been given and taking them all at once—Isabella, need I go on?" I sniffed back a few tears that lingered in my eyes, not realizing that I had started to cry, again. Edward rubbed small, reassuring circles with the pad of this thumb on the back of my hand.

"No. Dr. Soigner," I paused, swallowing back the pain of hearing all of that before continuing. "None of that is me except for the name, age, and suicide attempts. The rest of that you have gotten wrong.

Edward's alive now. I'm not anxious over his death anymore. Before, I had been given wrong information. Do I need to apologize or something? I'm perfectly sane. This place, however—keeping me in here is enough to make a sane person crazy." I looked around the office to search for support in faces of my loved ones, but instead I found purposely-masked, apathetic faces. I was being thrown to the wolves of New Moon by the ones I loved the most.

"Isabella, although I do agree that here now is the most well-adjusted that I've seen you, an apology will not reverse your condition. So, no, I do not require any sort of an apology. Perhaps in a therapy session with your family you might wish to offer one then. You can't just stop being something that you are—you have to work through your issues. Until you do so, I cannot on good conscience release you. Dr. Cullen, here, agrees with me." Upon hearing his name spoken I turned my head to look at Carlisle and saw him visibly stiffen. My jaw clamped together at his mutinous actions.

"Bella," Carlisle tried to amend, "We only thought that a couple more days here, with intensive therapy and getting a stable foundation, would be beneficial to you."

"For the record, Bella," my Edward spoke while gazing directly into my eyes with a please understand me look, "I disagree. I want you to come home now." Nodding, I showed my conviction and trust in his words.

"Edward, you can't possibly care for her in her condition while in yours," Esme interrupted. "You don't know what she was like… how empty her eyes got, how hopeless we all felt around her. She's not well, Eddie. Unless she goes to therapy, no amount of wishing will make her better." It wasn't until I heard Esme speak out against me that I even noticed the tension between her and my Edward. It had been apparent all evening in only Edward's eyes and body language. She, after all, was so thrilled that her Eddie was home she couldn't even be upset that he wanted his fiancée home with him when she didn't.

"She is just fine—as fine as this sort of situation warrants! I'm alive damn it and now she finally knows! Of course she didn't believe all of you when you told her I was fine at first—it wasn't because of her 'delusions'. Just think for a moment, if you will: even if I weren't alive, if I hadn't survived being hit by that car, what would you do to convince her life was worth living? You would still sing the same tune: he's fine, he'll be fine, and everything will be worked out soon. Traumatic events don't necessarily make a person saner. Fine, maybe she does need counseling; I'm certain we all do. She can still come home and get that. No wonder she has abandonment issues! You just want to abandon her here and make her someone else's problem. Well she's not a problem! She's my fiancée, damn it!" Edward paused thoughtfully before continuing, "... What kind of man proposes and then leaves their fiancée for four months intentionally? I… I did abandon her and you can't make me do it again tonight!" Edward ranted so thoroughly, at that moment there was no way on earth that I could deny his love for me, even in my craziest hour. I felt so bad for the guilt he was feeling that I leaned over and kissed his cheek, showing that I loved him and it wasn't his fault. Once again, I was thankful for our own means of wordless communication.

"No, Eddie, no. She needs to be here." Esme cooed soothingly to her only son.

"…For at least a few days, Edward. They should make sure she's stable," Carlisle added on to his wife's statement.

"Bells," my dad spoke for the first time since arriving in Dr. Laurent's office, "You know we didn't abandon you here. I've been to visit every day. I love you… I just want my little girl to get better. If I had my way, you could leave right now… but that includes none of this have ever happening which is just not realistic sweetie." Charlie tried to soothe me which had been working up until he told me that because of everything that had happened I had to stay here.

"No. If you loved me, you'd want me to leave. How can a place full of the clinically and criminally insane make me better? These people here, influencing me and whatnot, will only harm me in the long run. I need to be home, safe, with my fiancé, the man that I would be willing to die for. How is that unstable?" I questioned.

"Isabella, are you trying to tell me that you are easily influenced?" Dr. Laurent tried to distract me.

"No! But they're not good company to keep."

"Either they will influence you to do bad things, or you can withstand them. Which is it?"

"Stop trying to play mind games with me 'Soigner. I shouldn't be here!"

"Also in your file Isabella, it says mood instability. Right now you're not proving your point. I'm sorry, but all of this arguing and malnourishment—another reason to keep you in this hospital setting—must be making you exhausted, as is evident in your drooping eye lids. It's about time for your nightly meds as is. We can resume conversation in our session tomorrow. From now on with your new-found lucidity, in keeping with your wish to go home as soon as possible, I will try to meet with you every day. Now is the time for parting," he paused before outstretching his hand, "Thank you, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, for coming in. Mr. Swan, it was a pleasure seeing you as always—I'll be sure to contact Mr. Jenks with that information you requested. Edward, I'm so glad to have finally met you and am as thrilled as Bella that you are in fact alive and well," he said while shaking their hands. He was nothing if not respectful to those that paid the bills of his patients. At that moment I thought of him as a crook.

.::.

That night, parting with Edward had been just as painful, if not more, than before his flight to Paris. This time, though, he was leaving me in a place that I despised. Again, that night I cried myself to sleep just like I had the first night at New Moon. My head hurt as I tried to piece together everything that had happened that day. My world, previously turned upside down, had righted itself again. Although the moment I had seen Edward I thought that it had been a cure-all—a panacea of the Hell we had been living in—I was wrong because at the end of the night, I was still left here. I still had just as many questions as to what exactly happened to Edward as I had at the beginning of my day. At least I knew that while I slept I wouldn't have the recurring nightmares of Edward's bloody sheet, or I hoped so.

.::.